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Join us as Myoki Raizelah Bayen describes her journeys to Green Gulch Farm and Monastery over the years--and her journey of the heart into the realm of Priesthood in the Soto Zen tradition...
"I first went to Green Gulch Farm and Monastery when I was 23 years old--early in my spiritual journey--but I could already feel the seeker in me. I went there both out of an interest to learn more about zen meditation and to learn more about organic gardening. I was there for 5 1/2 months--and I did do my first practice period when I was there--a 6 week practice period lead by teacher and master gardener Wendy Johnson. It was a bit atypical with less practice in the Zendo--and more practice in the garden. I loved that and interestingly, many seeds were planted there, including meeting Nomon Tim.
I feel that the seeds were planted then for my recent ordination. I don't think that I was really conscious of the feeling in my bones that one day I would become a priest, but that became clearer in later years. I fell in love then with the forms--they are so beautifully done in the monastic setting--there is really that feeling in the Zendo of moving as one body because everyone is so synchronized and aware of one another. I still feel a deep connection there because it was the cradle of my spiritual baby.
I went back to Green Gulch in 2018 and 2019 for one month January intensives (and, of course recently in fall of 2025.) I also went back once or twice for one-week stints in my 40s as my kids were older and could be left with their dad. What I love about being there is the opportunity for intensive practice. When you do it at a monastic setting, practice comes under the microscope and there is so much support for that there.
Hoka Chris Fortin was already my teacher even before receiving Jukai around 2016. I met her at Norman Fischer's Everyday Zen Community but got to know her better because she was just starting her local sangha there in Sonoma County where I lived also.
So, my path to priesthood was not sudden, in fact, I saw myself for years in my mind's eye, folding up a zagu (priest's bowing cloth). As I sat with that, there was just this feeling in my bones. As I started to talk to Hoka Chris and Zoketsu Norman about it, around 2017, they encouraged me to do a more intensive focus on practice, which led to the intensives in the following two Januarys.
Actually, I came back from the intensive in 2019 and said to Chris, I don't think I can do this. I actually turned away from the priest path for a few years. I had an internal reckoning I needed to make with stepping into what Norman calls a fairly conservative role; in a tradition that has strong, strong patriarchal and hierarchical roots. I didn't know if I could say yes to that.
Also, soon after that I got my divorce, I left my job, a started a new career path...Norman said that time's when going through big changes are not times to decide to become ordained. So, there were 3 things going on that were really influencing me at the time.
One, could I really play that conservative role, Norman described? Two, going through huge changes in my personal life, and three, I wasn't in a place where I could just say yes.
In talking with Chris about wanting to become a priest, she had said that she wanted to give me more responsibility. She wanted me to do a way-seeking mind talk...she wanted me to write an article for the newsletter...etc. I was saying "no--I can't do that right now..." So, I saw that I was saying no instead of yes to sangha responsibilities and if I couldn't say yes to those responsibilities, it just didn't feel right.
So, I decided not to ordain then. I just put it down--I put it down until I became Shuso--and, oh my goodness! There was so much joy for me in supporting people on their spiritual path and making an offering to the sangha! When I had that experience, I went back to Chris and said, "maybe I'm ready!" There is also so much permission from my teacher Chris to be me and be a non-conventional teacher.
I love being able to offer teachings and dialogue play with perhaps different techniques for sangha, not to show them the way but to allow them to find it on their own. I also love some less traditional aspects, that perhaps bring a feminine perspective, for instance, Chris' sangha sitting in a circle!
I am so grateful for Nomon Tim's openness towards making room for all of us and our individual styles in interacting and teaching, within the framework of our Soto Zen community." I have so much joy in my path of practice right now!
~Thank you, Raizelah for sharing this picture of your journey--warm bows!
Now, let's join Myoshin Mari Ritalahti as she talks about her travels to her homeland of Finland, her recent monastic experience at Green Gulch Farm and her aspiration as she prepares for her path of priesthood.
"I went down to Green Gulch with a question 'do I want to ordain as a priest? or do I want to do a lay practice path?' Going down to Green Gulch was part of my discernment practice. In fact, taking the 5 weeks off and not only going to Green Gulch, a spiritual place of practice--but also going back to my Finnish family--my physical ancestral home, gave me the time and space to contemplate my path. I basically found no preference in being able to go to both, one following the other.
And, being at both my family home and Green Gulch really helped me let go. You tell me where to sleep--that's where I sleep...you tell me this is what's for dinner--that's what is for dinner! Overall, the 5 weeks were a 'settling' for me without the need for planning or making decisions.
When I went to Green Gulch, I was disoriented for the first five days--having done a whole other trip to my homeland first. Time zones, environment, etc. were affecting me. The one thing I could count on, however, was the schedule. I knew what I needed to do when and it created a very safe container for me.
It was really beautiful in that regard and I realized how important having that container is, especially in today's world--especially here in the US--with all of this chaos--a place of refuge. To have these centers there for grounding--a core sense of belonging. I realized strongly that I've been on this path for a lot longer than I thought--I just wasn't able to see it yet.
I had a moment when I realized that Nomon Tim already knew where I was going--just look at my name that he gave me (Exquisite faith--Subtle sound). I felt that there is this core of Buddhism that creates this container and this space.
And it's that container and that space that we need to take care of as well. We need to call in those ancestors; we need to keep this ritual alive because it creates that container. You can feel it when you walk into these places; I can feel how our new Zendo is starting to have that energy. So, I went there because I just knew I needed to go there. I knew in my bones that it was exactly where I needed to be. There's a part of me where this has always been there. And, it's been somewhat hard to accept because I was raised with 'science as God' on one hand--and then, my mother on the other!' I was always in the middle!
My experience at Green Gulch was just to be in a community where you could see the power of creating these temples, these spaces, how healing they are and how much people need these spaces. Also, realizing that my wellbeing is tied to taking care of everybody else. If I'm taking care of others, I'm taking care of myself. There is no self or other. Being there, I had no doubt that I'd be held. I realized that everything is important; doing the dishes, mopping, etc. is all equally important and needs to be done.
Intention to look towards this priest path that I'm preparing for, is for me, about continuing the lineage. When we call in the ancestors, that really calls to me. I call it the faith practice--that deep spiritual place that you can't really put your finger on--and that is what really calls me to the priest path. Also, we need a diversity of priests, of ways of thought...There are many ways to be and to teach the Dharma. They don't always have to be stern and can be soft and gentle and light-hearted too. I want to be able to create a space in which everyone feels welcome.
We can hold on to the practice--and also let go. We don't need to hold too tight or too loose on these ideals. And that is what calls to me too!"
~Thank you Mari for your insights and your enthusiastic energy! Note: Mari is intending to sew every piece of her priest robes as she progresses on her journey--for herself--and also, to guide others as they enter their journeys; she is also our new sewing teacher! Congrats! And deep bows!
Interested in helping with the bells, clacks, and signals to keep us organized during our services? Learn how with Kanho Chris in a new series of trainings: Doanryo Training: Ringing the Bells and Leading the Chants Sundays at 12:30pm on March 29, April 5, 12, and 19th. RSVP so we know whom to expect.
Luba's Last Wish - an appeal
As you may have seen in the March newsletter, our dear sangha member and avid hiker Luba Pekisheva passed away last week after a struggle with cancer.
Luba's wish was that her body be naturally buried or composted.
Unfortunately neither she, nor her remaining family, left her friends and supporters at Red Cedar Zen and Shir HaShalom Jewish Renewal Community with the resources to pay for such a burial.
If you feel so moved to help, the remaining funds in the GoFundMe created around Luba's end of life care will all go to the burial:
GoFundMe - Helping with Luba's Funeral Expenses
Luba was, for many years, an avid participant in Red Cedar's Wilderness Dharma Program, often flagging us down from her bicycle beside the highway for a ride as we headed toward the mountains. A Russian immigrant to the Northwest as a child, Luba came to love this part of the planet deeply. Although her poor eyesight prevented her from reading the sutras in our chant book, we will long remember her rapt and joyful face, looking upward, as she enjoyed the chanting towards the mountains and rivers of our home, and then her melodious voice joining us for our closing Gratitude to Nature dedication.
In her final weeks Luba was attended to at her home by Red Cedar members, and by members of the Shir HaShalom ("Song of Peace") Jewish Renewal Community of Bellingham group, of which she was also a member, as well as by her devoted mother Galena. Through these efforts Luba was able to spend her last days at home, with her beloved cats, which have now been adopted by a Red Cedar member. Luba's forthright insistence on natural treatments led to her, seemingly, to suffer much less in her final process than is commonly reported for her rare form of cancer.
She was an intelligent, compassionate, and politically aware person, who made her way in the world by helping others through Russian language medical interpretation. In her sickness she remained without self pity and brave, as only Luba could be.
Few funds exist to give Luba the green burial she wished for. The Beth Israel congregation of Bellingham has donated a burial plot, and a Red Cedar member is offering to build a casket to defray costs. It is still uncertain if funds will be enough to do the burial, or if a lower cost cremation will be all that can be afforded. Donations to help with these expenses can be made to Luba's GoFundMe.
With full hearts we regret to inform you of the recent passing of beloved sangha member Luba Pekisheva, after a struggle with cancer. Luba was, for many years, an avid participant in Red Cedar's Wilderness Dharma Program, often flagging us down from her bicycle beside the highway for a ride as we headed toward the mountains. A Russian immigrant to the Northwest as a child, Luba came to love this part of the planet deeply. Although her poor eyesight prevented her from reading the sutras in our chant book, we will long remember her rapt and joyful face, looking upward, as she enjoyed the chanting towards the mountains and rivers of our home, and then her melodious voice joining us for our closing Gratitude to Nature dedication.
In her final weeks Luba was attended to at her home by Red Cedar members, and by members of the Shir HaShalom ("Song of Peace") Jewish Renewal Community of Bellingham group, of which she was also a member, as well as by her devoted mother Galena. Through these efforts Luba was able to spend her last days at home, with her beloved cats, which have now been adopted by a Red Cedar member. Luba's forthright insistence on natural treatments led to her, seemingly, to suffer much less in her final process than is commonly reported for her rare form of cancer. She was an intelligent, compassionate, and politically aware person, who made her way in the world by helping others through Russian language medical interpretation. In her sickness she remained without self pity and brave, as only Luba could be.
Did you know Red Cedar has a mutual support network called Sangha Cares? If you're going through a hard time — illness, a family crisis, or anything else where a little help would go a long way — please reach out. The membership committee can help coordinate things like rides to medical appointments, grocery delivery, or a home-cooked meal. Contact us at membership@redcedarzen.org and we'll be in touch.
Red Cedar Zen Community invites you to join us for the 26th season of our Wilderness Dharma Program. The program is dedicated to fostering our intimate connection with place, in an open participation with nature. We perform meditation walks and hikes, punctuated by trailside ceremonies dedicated to our gratitude to nature, and in recognition of our interbeing with all things.
We have a wide diversity of outings available, including gentle walks in local parks, various types of hikes in the hills and mountains, and a full backpacking meditation retreat. This year we have two new hikes; one which explores our rich lowland wetlands, and another featuring a special high altitude ceremony. We hope the program gives many different opportunities to experience peace and intimacy with our local place here in the Nooksack and Skagit watersheds.
Please check the offerings on our Wilderness Dharma Program page and scroll to the bottom to find a program which interests you.
We endeavor to walk with peace with every step.
Desiree: So, Joden Bob, tell us a little bit about how you came to Red Cedar:
Bob: I feel like I’ve been practicing Buddhism a long time but only formally since I started at Red Cedar. How this happened though was by traveling around on a home exchange program and one of those trips was to San Francisco.
We like to use “the Lonely Planet” guidebook as my guide and one of the places it suggested to visit in San Francisco on a Saturday, was the San Francisco Zen Center. It suggested dropping in and having a cup of tea and an introduction. I told my partner, “I think I would actually like to do that! I’ve been reading about Buddhism for a long time and San Francisco Zen Center is an important piece of this whole puzzle including the history of the beatnik poets who occupied those walls—I’d like to go there!” So, I did!
I had a little orientation and stayed after for tea, and was able to converse with Myozen Joan Amaral, who is now the guiding teacher of the Zen Center North Shore in Boston. We talked about my experiences as a carpenter and farmer and she said, “Oh! You should come down to our monastery—Tassajara”, but I explained that I was only visiting CA for a few days. Later, though, I thought, maybe I could come back to the San Francisco Zen Center and stay for a few days and see what it’s like. I did. I stayed in a little cubicle in the basement and noted that it “kind of felt like home.”
Then, at dinner one evening, in the common dining room, I was talking to an older woman there—turns out it was the great sewing teacher Blanche Hartman, who said, “Oh, if you are from Skagit County you need to go up and check out Red Cedar Zen in Bellingham.”
So, I came up to Red Cedar—maybe around 2010-2011. I came once and I’ve come ever since! And, incidentally, I did go and spend 2 “work periods” at Tassajara, around 2013-2014. I have also done quite a few Sesshins with our sister sangha, Mountain Rain, over the years.
I think what Buddhism offers is a “systematic approach” to understanding ourselves—without telling us how to do it! Take responsibility for yourself!—it encourages! Pay attention to that one bright thing! And it’s amazing to find that when you do let go of something, how much space opens up.
Desiree: I wanted to acknowledge and appreciate your many years on the Board—and as Board President—and, your many years as Tenzo (head cook) also!
Bob: Yes, it was six years in the capacity on the Board and also many as Tenzo!—And, every time I walk into Red Cedar lately, I think “wow! how did this happen?!”…Each step of the way, something just needed to be done and, I thought, ok—I’ll do it! But, yes, it was a long haul; when I did finally step down from the Board, it was a feeling of relief when it would dawn on me, “Oh! I don’t have to do this letter or this task anymore!”
I also want to say that my work in land conservation continues, which started long before my time at Red Cedar. I was digging around in some files and came across a paper I’d written on the poetry of Gary Snyder. His writings and ethics are actually what brought me out here to the Pacific Northwest. They really informed my posture about things—including wanting to be a carpenter and a shipwright and wanting to work with my hands. So here was this paper from 1967 college days and how I was instinctively drawn to both his work and this region.
When I look back now, 60 years later, I think his charge to us is to re-inhabit the earth and settle in, and make it your home, and I certainly feel like I’ve done that here. I think I’ve been able to help stabilize, in some small way, an extraordinary place for everyone. My intention was not to create a legacy, but to answer a moment that needed to be answered and seemingly, it led to good results.
Here’s a little poem by Bob:
Skagit May The golden chain tree hangs its cascade everywhere I look-- now that I know it's name.
Skagit May
The golden chain tree
hangs its cascade
everywhere I look--
now that I know it's name.
Please enjoy this fabulous article now in Fidalgo Living, featuring Bob's lifelong work in land conservation:
[Fidalgo article]
~interview by Desiree Webster
Thank you for all of your support around our current financial challenges. I'm delighted to report that as I write this our new upstairs tenants are having their first business day at the temple! Endless Potential is a small healthcare company offering support to families of children with developmental delays.
Practically they are a perfect tenant for us with their regular hours of 8:30am - 2:30pm Monday-Friday. If you're there on a weekday morning for a meeting or some library time, you can enjoy the joyful sound of children upstairs and know they are receiving a wonderful leg-up in what may be a challenging journey into society as they grow up.
This rental closes a chunk of our monthly deficit. So grateful!
A bit of program news: now that Sunday mornings are open, we've refocused the teachings on Wednesday evenings. While both meetings continue to be fully open for drop-in and occasional visits, the teachings offered on Wednesday night will now be more in the nature of a Dharma Seminar than weekly Dharma talks on a variety of topics.
By "Dharma Seminar" I mean: the talks will go more deeply into traditional sources of Buddhist wisdom and often they will be offered as a series of 4-6 talks on one topic.
Through February I'll be offering four talks on the Heart Sutra - a core text we chant all the time but also a tricky one to make heads or tails of. It's deeply packed with references to a long list of teachings in Buddhist psychology and consciousness.
While reading is not required, if you'd like to engage more fully in that way, the book I most recommend is Thich Nhat Hanh's earlier book on the Heart Sutra entitled The Heart of Understanding. A study guide you can read online is also available. I'll be bringing printed copies to the temple as well. This guide lists additional books I find helpful.
Look forward to Kanho Chris unpacking another traditional text, The Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, in April or May during Wednesday Dharma Seminar.
I was so touched on Sunday when our first Interfaith Peace Walk was offered on a rainy February day - 75 folks turned out to walk silently for peace.
Here's a video of us starting out from Zuanich Park (hear the rain?).
Walking steadily and mindfully in silence with the occasional ringing of a mindfulness bell we worked our way up to the Peace and Reconciliation Arch behind the library where a few of us offered brief reflections and we sang the Sutra on Loving Kindness together.
A deeply moving event and we're working on offering another in-town walk on Sunday February 15th in the early afternoon. One of our inspirations was the group of Thai Buddhist Monks making their way from their home monastery in Texas to Washington, D.C. - walking for peace. (Here is one of many videos about them posted online). And I was also moved by a similar effort from a group out of Buddha Eye Temple in Oregon a few months earlier (Liberty Walks).
As I shared with the group before we set out, Thich Nhat Hanh once said, "Some people think it's a miracle to walk on water, or it's a miracle to walk on air. The true miracle is walking on the Earth."
In a time when it's so hard to know what to do and so many of us are doing our best to be engaged, I'm so happy to be supporting the inclusion of mindful walking for peace.
Red Cedar Zen Community is a 501(c) non-profit organization.
