by Nomon Tim Burnett
November 03, 2008
Dear Sangha,
When I start to create the Responding Gate newsletter each month I start with a copy of the previous months. I was very amused this time to see that my opening lines last month were about boredom and restlessness! This month has been quite the opposite. Difficult, intense, kind of exciting, pretty draining, but ultimately hopeful.
So much has happened and is happening. Sangha reorganization is going forward at a good pace (and more details on that below if you are feeling a little out of the loop), we lost a bunch of funding but then got a bit back, a major world economic crisis, a historic and groundbreaking national election. And meantime we all of us are supporting each other to touch ground. To sit down each day and let it all settle. To rest as best we can in the mind ground below all of this. Below excitement, below frustration, beyond any idea of how it's supposed to go or not supposed to go. That is our bedrock, this is what renews us and sustains us, and that is what we have the privledge and responsibility to practice and to share with others as best we can.
There have been some questions about what really happened with the Earth Room and our donor/partner in that project. I can only say so much on email and other forums so I do invite you to contact me directly (tim@redcedarzen.org or 360-223-0687) but at this point I can say a little more here than I could when the project was broken off so abruptly at the beginning of October. I will go ahead and say as much as I can now.
When the donor approached us she seemed very organized and very specific in her wishes. A detailed written agreement was crafted and was carefully considered by both our Leadership Council (including Greg Greenan in that group who is a lawyer with some experience in contract law). We did know that with all benefits there is risk. We were trying something new with someone we didn't know well. We had every reason to think it would go according to plan at that point but we knew that should the donor suddenly have a major change of heart and stop the funding we would not have a practical recourse. One doesn't sue donors for breach of contract and expect to survive that long as a non-profit. It was a risk we decided to take which seemed reasonable given the potential benefit to the sangha and community.
I suppose if there were any warning signs at that point I should have paid attention to they were: (1) the solo-ness of the donor - she had no community of practicioners to help her - we never met any friends or family at all, she seemed to be very much on her own, (2) the great urgency and intense concern she felt about imminent world economic collapse (maybe in some ways a little precient but still beyond the normal range of expectation and a good bit into the territory of paranoia), (3) the power and seductiveness of a big chunk of money and the problem solving it engenders is actually quite hard to underestimate.
Remember that we were kind of stuck at the time. It was not a big problem in a way, but our development as a sangha felt a bit stalled out by the limits of space and scheduling at our 4-way shared Dharma Hall. At one point I wanted to offer a series of 4 classes on another evening than our main practice night. Completely impossible: no room, no time. I was starting to think about renting another room for classes. And those stairs - 3 flights. And the vibe you had to overcome when you opened the door from the street. The size was okay for most weekly events, but every time we had Norman there for a retreat we wondered if it was a mistake to cram that many people into a such a small space. Some also worried about fire safety.
And the Bellingham Dharma Hall as a whole was just unable to move to a better space (2 failures, many many meetings, much angst) and on our own we couldn't imagine affording something better. And then along came the Earth Room donor saying exactly the perfect thing, it's amazing really. "Here's $100,000, you need to move to a nicer place, use this to pay the rent until you're big enough to afford it, just build me an Earth Room." Can you imagine a more perfect sounding arrangement?
And it worked, we are in the new space. Thanks to the unbelievable hard work and generosity of so many people (hundreds of volunteer hours, about $30,000 in donations beyond the Earth Room donation for remodelling) we did it. We created Red Cedar Dharma Hall. It's such a beautiful space and the Earth Room was the seed and the spark. It would never have happened without that but the Earth Room donation was also only one factor. It would never have happened without sangha, and without it being absolutely the right thing to do, at the right time, to establish a beautiful, open, warm, and accessible Dharma Hall. And not just for us. It's a Dharma Hall for Bellingham, a Dharma Hall for Bellingham Insight, a Dharma Hall for families and for children, for yoga and tai chi teachers many of whom we don't even know yet.
We just completed a series of four public lectures at the new Dharma Hall - Buddhism in Bellingham - good attendence and a really quiet and deep feeling was shared between long term practicioners and and people new to practice. And we offered child care downstairs too. So wonderful to be able to share the place with our town in this way. It's fine to rent halls for talks like that, as we did the preivous years at the Unitarians', but offering the Dharma in an actual practice place is powerful and healing. In the discussion after my talk someone asked me how to forgive someone who had done her wrong and has since died. Questions like that didn't come up at previous years. Somehow sitting together on our cushions in a place where people consider these important questions seemed really to enable such a question (not that they don't do deep spiritual practice at the Unitarians' place of course, you get my meaning).
In retrospect that slowness with which the Earth Room donor got going on actually setting up the room and the very limited ability she seemed to have to accept our help was a warning sign too. As was an intense, quite overbearing, interest in the relationship between Red Cedar Zen and Bellingham Insight. She seemed to be putting energy into lots of things in the building but I don't know if she ever practiced meditation in the Earth Room. It just didn't seem to be happening at all like she said. There were plans also that seemed quite divergent like a series of photography shows - nature oriented certainly, but not meditation.
The donor is a wonderful person as people are, but clearly suffering (as people do). She seems to very much want community, friendship and togetherness but at the same time acting to push people away. A habit of dominating and manipulating others probably born out of surival and history and very sensible in a way. We saw her judging some people to be worthy, for a time, and then utterly untrustworthy. I myself came in and out of favor as did several other people. And the magnitude of the donation all the time ensuring that we put a lot of sangha resources into trying to take good care of the relationship.
And the funny thing is we thought we had it pretty well handled in the end. After some strong words and deep concerns expressed in late Spring/early Summer we created a Donor Relations committee of 3 very grounded and wise sangha leaders who were meeting with the donor monthly. They were re-evaluating our agreements and relationship and felt like real progress with a good feeling was there.
And then in September she started saying the Earth Room was ready, was at last open, was asking me to do a blessing ceremony. All seemed as well as could be. And within a month all was cancelled, gone, removed, and over. A contract unilaterally broken and the sangha with a challenge to meet.
The key fact we might have been a bit in denial of is this: despite our best efforts to suggest and help the Earth Room never felt to any of us like the Earth. It never felt to anyone whom I spoke with as a place where you would go to touch the Earth. It was a reasonably attractive room in the end. But just a room. But it never was quite "it". I'm not sure what else we could have done given the ownership and protectiveness of both space and process she was exhibiting. We were happy that she said she was happy and was feeling done, but still I don't think any of us could really imagine many people coming to actually use the Earth Room. That's probably the only thing I really regret. We could, and should, have been more honest with the donor about this. As students of truth and precepts we should have been able to say in a clear and kind way, "This does not feel like an Earth Room or a place of practice to any of us." We become focussed on try to manage the situation and keep the relationship and donation alive but on top of a fiction I guess there can not really be anything solid.
And I suspect she knew that too on some level. And that may have been the real end of the project. Some kind of fear of failure, or fear of exposure. To open the Earth Room publically and have no one come would be a nightmare. Better to just end it. Better to just walk away. I feel badly for her. And a little badly for us, our trust was broken. A difficult and complex situation. And yet now here we are, the situation is what it is and we certainly did our best.
How is it for you when your trust is broken? How do you respond?
I seems to me one learns what one can from the situation but regrets and second-guessing are not helpful either. We move on. But if there is suffering and pain we don't hide from that. We feel it and carry it as gently and patiently as we can. May all beings be happy, may they be free from suffering, and may they feel the loving embrace of Mother Earth.
A Board of Directors
After a committee process, two large
sangha meetings, and a written comment period a new sangha government has been
born (in parallel with a new, we hope, national government!). Thank you Jeff and Brian for stepping up and
to Greg for being willing to continue.
Red Cedar Zen Community Board of Directors
|
Jeff McKenna, President |
pjmck@earthlink.net |
966-3414 |
|
Vice President, still open |
(any suggestions?) |
|
|
Greg Greenan, Treasurer |
greg@zenderthurston.com |
647-1500 |
|
Brian Davidson, Secretary |
johnlisa29@hotmail.com |
510-9780 |
|
Tim Burnett, Spritual Director |
tim@redcedarzen.org |
223-0687 |
Contacting the entire Board by email can be done by emailing a message to
leadership@redcedarzen.org
This will copy every current member.
New phone line at the building (Voice Mail generally checked by Welcome Workgroup) is 360-312-7088 but it does quietly ring downstairs you might reach someone if you call during an event.
Sangha Workgroups
I'm really happy about the formation of these clearly defined workgroups for a lot of reasons:
1) that we've had to really list all of the sangha tasks that happen (well I think we got most of them anyway)
2) every task is assigned to a workgroup, not just floating around
3) workgroups of 2-4 people can support each other, if one person needs to take a break for a while it should be less of a challenge, the others can cover
4) I hope workgroups will allow people at a distance to help, we've had many offers and we've never been that good at making use of that generosity
5) each workgroup is supported by a Board member which should result in good overall coordination
6) workgroups will be empowered to make their own decisions and have their own budgets
7) we are trying to use technology well to keep coordinated and not lose track of decisions and plans and documents with our new Google Site's updatable Sangha Workgroup site. All workgroup members will be able to easily update the site to keep it current and lively. It's linked to the "workgroups" link at www.redcedarzen.org - hop on there and check it out!
Sangha Forum
A very easy to use online forum has been added to our website. On the homepage of www.redcedarzen.org you can see the most recent posts to the forum. The purpose of the forum is to provide an accessible place for all kinds of discussions. This also included people at a distance or currently unable to make the Dharma Hall well. We can discuss nuts and bolts of sangha life or practice or anything at all.
Everyone is invited to participate in these discussions and even to create new topics to discuss. If you think of a new top level category we need please let me know and I'll add it (or by then hopefully I will have handed the admin of this off to someone and I'll pass your request along!).
Example: I am curious what the response would be if we did a regular New Year's retreat and a discussion has started on forum. So far the response is positive. I myself don't want to commit to setting that up unless I know there's a lot of support for it and if there is as the post from Marv online suggests, then let's really add it as a regular feature we can count on each year. What do you think?
Health and Well Being Ceremonies
On the first Wednesday eve. of the month we are now performing the Health and Well Being ceremony.
This is a ceremony dedicated to the well-being and recovery of those who are ill or suffering a difficulty.
We chant the Heart Sutra to remember the healing power of emptiness and the Enmei Jukku Kannon Gyo to invoke Kannon (Avaolokitesvara / Guan Yin) the Bodhisattva of compassion and then we chant the names of the people we are dedicated the ceremony to.
Whether you can be there in person or not you can have a name of a loved one read during the ceremony. Post it to the Health and Well Being topic in the Ceremonies forum, add them to the sign up sheet at the Hall, or email me (tim@redcedarzen.org). There is also a time in the ceremony for people who are there to call out names if you do not have a chance to get the name on the list.
Memorial Ceremonies can also be done on request and maybe in future we'll start having a regular time for memorials or conducting the segaki ceremony as we did some years ago.
May all beings find relief from suffering and joy in the fullness of the present moment.
Members and Friends
November has been declared Membership Month by our new Membership Workgroup. If we have your mailing address and especially if you are a current or former member of the sangha you will be receiving a mailing from them this week with new membership forms.
For those who don't want to be a member and participate in that way with the sangha we have re-created a Friends category. The new Friend of Red Cedar is for people who want to provide ongoing support in a quiet way just to help ensure that we keep the doors open at Red Cedar Dharma Hall and can continue to offer regular meditation and other programs.
Check out the new "Support" link on the main side menu of www.redcedarzen.org.
The Bridge Fund
As a stop-gap measure we are also doing a fundraiser called The Bridge Fund. The Earth Room donation (discussed at length above!) as a bridge and that bridge has been cut off. The idea of the Bridge Fund is that one-time donations now simply allow us more time to grow our sangha, expand programs, and find more users for the building, the Bridge Fund is a bridge to the future in which we plan to be fully self sufficient and able to carry the building and other expenses in a sustainable way.
The Bridge Fund is also reached from the "Support" link on the main side menu of www.redcedarzen.org.
Thank you.
upcoming events
Red Cedar Zen Community invites you to participate in any of the following upcoming events. For more information about these events, including online registration, visit our web site at www.redcedarzen.org.
November - January 2009
Saturday morning meditation and breakfast
First and third Saturday mornings, 6am-8:30am
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
A new regular Saturday morning program is coming to life at Red Cedar Dharma Hall starting November 1st. We hope regular Saturday programs will provide a way for people who are busy during the week to access the practice and come together with community. But we also hope those who need to sleep in on Saturday morning will take good care of themselves. And please note the flexible schedule options in terms of arriving at different points in the morning.
Regular Saturday morning meditation schedule:
On the FIRST and THIRD Saturdays of each month we will offer early morning mediation including potluck breakfast. Sitting early in the morning is a powerful part of the Zen tradition and we are happy to be offering it on a regular basis.
SATURDAY MORNING MEDITATION SCHEDULE, 1st and 3rd Saturdays starting November 1st
6:00am zazen (opening with robe chant, early morning bells, and priest's jundo)
6:25am kinhin
6:35am zazen
7:00am kinhin
7:10am zazen
7:40am service (longer morning service with some additional ritual)
8:00am potluck breakfast (pot of oatmeal, coffee and tea provided)
8:30am close (or break if extended program).
ARRIVAL CHOICES:
Please note that this is a flexible schedule. Unlike a traditional Zen sesshin it is fine to come and go as you need to. Feel free to arrive at the time of your choosing. Simply avoid entering or leaving the zendo during zazen (sitting meditation). Come at 6am for the entire program or arrive at 7am for the third period of zazen, or at 7:30am for service (wait in the lobby for zazen to end before entering for service), or come at 8:00am to enjoy the company of sangha for breakfast.
POTLUCK BREAKFAST:
A note about potluck breakfast for Saturday morning programs. A pot of oatmeal, tea and coffee are made that morning at the Dharma Hall. To keep cooking work to a minimum we invite each person coming to bring a small potluck item. Sugggestions: a bowl of nuts, fruit, bread, or anything that can be added to a bowl of oatmeal.
November 2008
Sangha work morning
Saturday November 15, 9:00am - 11:00am
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Come to the new 1st and 3rd Saturdays early morning meditation and breakfast or just come to the work period.
Every 1st and 3rd Saturday morning Schedule
THEN today's extended Saturday morning schedule
9:00am zazen
9:30am sangha work
11:00am closing chant in the zendo
Loon Lake Sesshin
Sunday November 16, 4:00pm - Saturday November 22, 4:00pm
Loon Lake Camp, near Mission B.C.
7 day residential Zen Sesshin with Zoketsu Norman Fischer
Loon Lake,
Mission, BC
A week-long retreat which runs Sunday afternoon through Saturday afternoon, sponsored by the Mountain Rain Zen Community. The retreat will be held at Loon Lake Camp located approximately 60 km from downtown Vancouver, on the shores of Loon Lake. This beautiful lakeside setting is found within the UBC Malcolm Knapp Research Forest, a 5000-hectare forest.
Registration materials will be posted on Mountain Rain's website:
http://www.mountainrainzen.ca/retreats.html
December 2008
Rohatsu Sesshin
Saturday December 06, 6:00am - 12:30pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Celebrate the Buddha's Enlightenment with early morning zazen, a special ceremony, formal (oryoki) breakfast and a Dharma Talk by Nomon Tim Burnett during this silent all-morning Zen sesshin.
Oryoki review will be offered on the Wednesday evening on 12/3 and after Friday noon zazen on 12/5 or at other times by arrangement. If you do not have an oryoki set we have sets for rental ($10) or purchase ($40). Please note in your registration if you need a oryoki set.
Registration ($20-$50 sliding scale, dana included) has begun. Please register soon.
Sangha work morning
Saturday December 20, 9:00am - 11:00am
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Come to the new 1st and 3rd Saturdays early morning meditation and breakfast or just come to the work period.
Early morning schedule THEN today's extended Saturday morning schedule
9:00am zazen
9:30am sangha work
11:00am closing chant in the zendo
January 2009
Intro to Zen with Seishu John Wiley
Saturday January 17, 9:00am - 1:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
An introductory class and retreat with lay teacher Seishu John Wiley. The basics on sitting and walking meditation and other ritual forms. On the spirit of living a life of healthy discipline with the guidance of Zen Buddhism. Designed for new students or those wanting to renew and deepen their understanding. There will be plenty of time for questions and discussion. Preregsitration request for this class.
January - March 2009
2009 Winter Practice Period
Thursday January 22, 7:00pm - Sunday March 08, 4:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Starting with a shuso (head student) entering ceremony on Thursday eve. Jan 22nd, and ending with a 3-day meditation retreat, or annual 6-week practice period is a time for more intensive practice. Look for extra zazen meetings, classes and special ceremonies as we practice deeply during the depths of winter.
Details of individual events to follow.
June 2009
Samish Sesshin 2009
Friday June 19, 5:00pm - Saturday June 27, 12 noon
Samish Island
Save the date for Samish 2009. This year's retreat will be a silent Zen sesshin (meditation retreat).
Check back again for registration information.
yours,
Tim
Nomon Tim Burnett
Resident Priest
Resident Priest Nomon Tim Burnett has been a student of Zoketsu Norman Fischer since 1987 when he was a resident at San Francisco Zen Center's Green Gulch Farm. After sitting practice periods at Green Gulch and Tassajara Zen Monastery, Tim helped found the Bellingham Zen Practice Group in 1991. Tim was ordained as a Zen Priest by Norman in June, 2000. Like his teacher, Tim is interested in the possibility of deep and complete practice by lay people.
A person of wide-ranging professional interests, Tim has been a botanist, elementary schoolteacher, writer, and computer programmer. In addition to his work at the Resident Priest of Red Cedar Zen Community, Tim works as a software developer.